Sometimes I’m Scared
I’m scared of a lot of things. The future, for one, seems quite frightening to me. I try to tell myself over and over again that things will work themselves out. But sometimes, it’s not quite enough. Sometimes I stay up late in a wild panic-driven workaholic mode, planning things out like a madwoman in an attempt to alleviate my fears. But other times, there is so much fear that I don’t even know where to begin. I feel like that now and it is hard even to find words to write down here.
I think I am scared of my writing. It is hard for me to read what I write and I think that it is because I am scared of what I will read. I think that sometimes, I write like I am scared of what I am writing. It is like I skirt around the story instead of sticking my head inside it. I don’t want to be scared of the stories in my head and I don’t want to be scared to feel things for the characters that have lives waiting to be put on paper.
I have a question. Or maybe a few. How do you know that what you write is good or bad? How do you know it was worth writing down? How do you know that it deserves to be read?
I should just stick to writing for myself.