College Anxiety

Lately, I’ve been having trouble concentrating. I’ve been meaning to start packing for college for at least a week now, and yet when I actually find time to do it, I feel antsy and awkward, resorting to playing online SET in search for something mindless to do. And just last night, when I tried to get a decent couple hours of violin practice in, I couldn’t stop my mind from racing, despite my knowledge that I have a major upcoming audition. And even now, as I type this blog post, my entire body, inside and out, is squirming like a can of live worms.

I don’t understand what is going on. Is it the prospect of going to college? Is it the subconscious realization that my life will morph into a completely different creature in a week’s time? Is it the fear that I will die of stress and work due to my 19-credit first quarter?

All I know is that this can’t continue. I leave on Saturday and my luggage still smells of empty plastic. Orientation begins on Monday and I have yet to finish the assigned summer reading. Classes begin on the 22nd and my brain has been of vacation for so long that I fear it has deteriorated to half its pre-summer size. And I have an audition for a violin studio on the first day of school and my pieces are far from being even considered “acceptable.”

I thought the adrenaline coursing through my veins was purely due to excitement and a burning desire to being university life. But now I am beginning to suspect that this constant adrenaline rush has just a tinge of fear mixed in.

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~ by thechanster on 8:29 am, Monday, September 8, 2008.

One Response to “College Anxiety”

  1. I know EXACTLY how you felt. And I would like to relate a little story regarding the summer reading I had to do. I carted that stupid book around with me all summer to Sound of Music rehearsals, throughout France and England, to Boston, New Jersey and Maine, as well as everywhere I went in Tucson those remaining few weeks. And I never got past the first chapter. And so I told myself that I would read it on the plane to Montreal and those few days that I would spend in Canada before I got to Hanover. 1 AM in the morning that I leave, with a plane that leaves at 6AM or something like that, I can’t find my book. I lost my book!!! I figured I had left in in the hospital where I had driven my mom the day before, but regardless, we don’t have time to get it. I search the house top to bottom and cannot find it. I wake up my parents–needless to say they are very annoyed. We end up finding the book in a Chapters in Montreal and I finish it sometime in Pre-Orientation. And for all that stress I was like one of three people on the entire campus who got past the third chapter. And my mom found the book in some random place in the garage several weeks later.

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