It feels so strange and wonderful to be home. When I first walked into my house, I was shocked by the largeness of my room (I had expected it to be the size of my dorm room), by the short walk to the bathroom (in my dorm, my room’s the farthest away from the bathroom), and by the juxtaposition of fluffy carpet and cold tile as I walk from room to room (dorm “carpet” isn’t quite the same as carpet carpet). Luggage in hand, I entered the room I used to spend so much time in and suddenly felt like a visitor walking into a guest room. I had cleaned it meticulously before I had left, freshly laundered sheets folded neatly on top of my bed. It gave off an aura of a pristine bed-and-breakfast.

I was talking to my roommate before we left the dorm and we were discussing how bizarre it is to think that we were leaving one home to go home home. All throughout our lives, we have categorized where we sleep as either “home” or “vacation.” But introduce this foreign entity “college,” and suddenly we have a big mess: to vacation from college, you go home; to go home from vacation you go to college; but then you can also vacation from home? The dichotomy has been broken and we must accept this more complex system of three major categories.

I love being back. There’s a comfort to it all. But sometimes, it is almost like I am stepping into a memory–a pensive, if you will. It feels like a continuation of the summer, a few months later, and at times, I feel like the last 9 weeks of college never happened. I wonder how bizarre it would be to go back and find a life put on pause?

Because of the mentality that when you’re at home, college is put on hold, I am having trouble finding the motivation to do the homework expected of me. I have four pages of an essay to write by 11:59 pm tonight and I feel no pressure to finish it on time. I am due to give a guest lecture to a math class tomorrow and still have no idea what I am going to talk about. And I haven’t so much as given a thought to the project I need to have done by the time I go back to school.

It is strange to be back. But I love it.


~ by thechanster on 9:16 am, Monday, November 24, 2008.

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