Burn Out

My math final is in less than 72 hours and yet my mindset is not the frantic, panicky, oh-my-god-I-must-study-every-waking-hour-or-else-I’m-going-to-die state that I went through before the last midterm. I am, instead, taking naps in the middle of the afternoon, eating s’mores at 11 pm, knitting and watching House before bed, and blogging in the morning. What happened to the fear? What happened to the anxiety? What happened to the pre-finals hell-fest?

Of course, I’m still studying. Yesterday, I spent the entire day studying Linear Algebra in Rn and finally understood what we had been doing for the last three weeks. Sure, I was productive. But I could have been so much more productive! If this were Pre-Thanksgiving, there would be no time for anything but math. But after a relaxing week-long break, my brain seems to want nothing more than more break.

I fear for what Winter Break will do to my brain. Will it cause it to debilitate into a pile of useless mush? I’m taking 21 credits next quarter. The maximum is 20. Quite frankly, I need my neurons to be in tippy-top shape in January. But maybe it’s not a bad thing for my brain to turn to mush during Winter Break. Maybe through all the mushy-ness, I will regain my productivity, my motivation, my drive.

But for now, I think I am burning out. My neurons are overheating and I fear they do not have much time left. Next week, perhaps, my roommate will find me sitting at my desk, smoke furling from my ears.

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~ by thechanster on 9:26 am, Saturday, December 6, 2008.

One Response to “Burn Out”

  1. hang in there charlotte : ). when are you going to be home?

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