Pseudo-Random Movie-Picking

It’s been a long day. I woke up at 6:30 am, and have been jumping from place to place, trying to see as many of my high school friends as possible in a single day. After a fantastic dinner with one of my girlfriends (we had Italian food!!!), the two of us drove over to the closest Blockbuster to pick out a movie to watch. We ended up in front of the Blue-ray discs. We narrowed down the movie selection to three comedies and then stared blankly at our trio of movies, not knowing how to choose one of the three. I decided to call a friend. But she didn’t pick up. So we were left standing awkwardly in front of our line-up of My Best Friend’s Girl, Burn After Reading, and Get Smart.

“Shall we devise a numerical ranking system?” I asked her.


And we stood there thinking about how to devise an algorithm to assign values to each of the three movies. But we were at a loss as to what traits to include in our analysis.

“We could do it randomly,” she said.

“Pseudo-randomly,” I corrected her. “Nothing’s ever random. But okay.”

So I took the three DVDs and shuffled them behind my back.

“Pick a number between one and three,” I said.

“But how are you going to enumerate them?”

“The one closest to my butt is one.”

The Blockbuster worker stared at us and laughed.

“Okay, then one,” my friend said.

We had pseudo-randomly selected My Best Friend’s Girl out of the three. But after re-reading the synopsis, we decided that we were unsatisfied with the outcome of our pseudo-random drawing. And so we removed the movie from our pool and tried again. The Blockbuster worker couldn’t stop staring.

I started shuffling the remaining DVDs behind my back.

“Stop. And take the second one.”

I did so, and we ended up with Burn After Reading. We decided we were satisfied with the result of our selection process and re-shelved the rejected movies. As we walked towards the cashier, Blue-ray disc in hand, my friend said, without so much as a hint of sarcasm, “Well, that was easy.”


~ by thechanster on 11:41 pm, Thursday, March 26, 2009.

3 Responses to “Pseudo-Random Movie-Picking”

  1. Hahahahaha! Also, I love Burn After Reading. Soooo funny.

  2. Hahahaha I love you guys. So this is the explanation to the pseudo random picking? “Or was it pseudo-pseudo random? But then it’s real”–hahaha I love us. Sorry I didn’t pick up; I was reading to my brother. However, I wouldn’t have been able to help anyway since I had never heard of any of them anyway. Miss you already!

  3. gaaah I keep doing that–that was Veronica, if you couldn’t tell

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